2012年11月28日星期三

YouTube HOF: Holiday Commercial-ism

Michael Weinreb: I do not know how many tri-state area children turned to a life of street-corner violence and petty crime because of the trauma brought on by Crazy Eddie commercials. All I know is that I was 5 years old when my parents moved me away from New York (presumably for this very reason), and these ads are so deeply burrowed into my subconscious that I cannot dissociate Santa Claus from the skeeviest parts of Breaking Bad.

Andy Greenwald: Growing up, no East Coast Christmas was complete without being hollered at by Crazy Eddie. (Actually, no summer was complete either, as Eddie was instrumental in introducing the controversial "Christmas in August" sale event, too.) In a golden era of local advertising, Eddie Antar was both the king and the jester, the sort of manic capitalist who could make you feel guilty for not buying a digital watch for that special someone, even if you were only in second grade.The Canada Goose Chilliwack Parka are bright and very easy to spot in the snow or anywhere you might be! In real life, Eddie wasn't crazy, but he wasn't all there, either: From the moment the company was founded in the pre-artisanal Brooklyn of 1971, it was rife with fraud. At one point, Eddie was funneling millions of dollars into Israeli banks, which promptly wired the bills to Panama. In the end, the craziest thing Eddie ever did wasn't the deep discount on the reel-to-reel player. It was cheating on Debbie, his high school–sweetheart wife,This is my review of my Canada Goose Trillium Parka and how it . with another woman named Debbie. (They were caught, in flagrante digital licto, by OG Debbie on New Year's Eve. Let's hope no one was wearing the Santa hat.) Anyway, Eddie was eventually convicted, fled to Tel Aviv under a fake passport, was arrested and extradited, and spent most of the '90s behind bars. My favorite thing about Eddie Antar — huckster, con man, over-rater of calculators — was that despite his unstoppable, vaguely terrifying love of Christmas, he probably never had a Crazy Christmas Tree in his Crazy Condo. Crazy Eddie was Jewish.

Mark Lisanti: The 1980s were a simpler time. Back then, a prodigal, letterman-jacket-clad son could slip quietly into the house, arms laden with presents for his loving family, and crack open a can of delicious Folgers with an adoring sister, and the only suspicions aroused were those of the slumbering parents, who thought Santa might have arrived early to fill their house with the smell of classic roasted holiday joy.

But we now live in a more complicated world. When "Peter" arrives home from his adventures in the ostensibly java-bereft lands of West Africa, his backpack bursting with exotic gifts from "far away" (we never see what's in that box, but it's almost certainly opium-based; when you can't get supermarket-quality canned coffee, you have to take refuge in whatever gets you through the day), the exchanged smiles and coy bow-play inspire different, queasier feelings. Ones that make people describe this updated ad in far more sinister terms and then compose disturbing fanfic about the relationship. So thank you, Folgers Incest Claus, for squatting atop our chimneys and dropping this new holiday tradition into our living rooms every year since 2009. It wouldn't feel like the holidays without it.

Emily Yoshida: This ad is not only fantastic, it was a formative part of my creative education. I was in a video production class in fifth grade, and our final project was to create a television commercial. (My group ended up making an ad for a service that put together and executed garage sales in exchange for a cut of the profit. This is a terrible idea for a business, and it ended with a group dance to James Brown's "I Got You," which is an idea I think we stole from a Senokot commercial.) Anyway, in order to learn how to plan our shoots, the teacher had us draw storyboards off preexisting commercials. I knew whatever ad I picked should reflect my personality and also include imagery that I would be excited to draw over and over again in 30-plus frames. So of course, I taped this Klingon-language Hallmark ad off an airing of Deep Space Nine and proceeded to get really good at drawing Birds of Prey. Never got that ornament, though — Mom thought the Klingon were too violent a people to be represented on the Christmas tree. I dunno, maybe she wasn't reading the subtitles — they seemed to be way more diligent about writing thank-you notes than I ever was.

Charles P. Pierce: The Budweiser commercial gets more hype, but this one, with the lovely piano music and one-horse sleigh, is the one that most means Christmas to me. (Also, I prefer High Life to that St. Louie Kool-Aid anyway.) In fact, very often, the two get confused. On an episode of Designing Women, Charlene once referred to how sentimental she got when she saw "the Budweiser ad playing 'I'll Be Home for Christmas.'" That, of course, is the theme to this ad. (The Bud Christmas commercial plays the Budweiser theme.) And, yes, I watched Designing Women and remember specific dialogue from it. What's it to you?

Brian Phillips: Look,The Canada Goose Montebello tend to be more leisure, thus opening a broad space on the fashion area. children! A 6-foot-3 clown in yellow slaughterhouse coveralls is performing lyrical pirouettes across the middle distance of our neighborhood skating pond! His face looks like a chemical accident! Let's conga!

This commercial essentially played on repeat on every channel during the entire 1980s, which explains why — to this day — the sight of Battle Cat makes me long to accept a milkshake from a pedophile. I love Christmas.

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